Gosh, that summertime sadness ones and for all

it's after midnight and I feel exhausted and still not ready to let go of this day. I feel kind of restless and yeah I'm proud as I feel my mojo s reawakened and it feels good.

I want everything now. I have the feeling I have fallen behind with my tasks, never mind.

Yeah I had to let go of so much. My stuff is in a storage down at the coast and another one left in Berlin. I need a van and a driver. I often see these adds. "man with a van" , perhaps I can arrange a sweet deal. who knows .

My day was so packed. I got almost all done at the end I was drawing and it's like a meditation. I even baked a bread. I am getting really good in baking bread.

You know running my business is,.... yeah, a long road to go and thrive. I was wearing some of my newest samples of my clothes line and playing around with it;

different combos of clothes and shirts. yeah was fun though. If I am in the mood I walk through the city and I am observing the reaction and looks.

I mean it's art - it all comes with a story, and it has a great energy. especially some of them it feels really like uploaded high energy printed on these wonderful organic fabrics. yeah it's fun playing around and to see what the outcome is and for sure the sky is the limit. my clothes line is new and I am diving deep into it. on other days I have to get videos done for castings and commercials, which I totally love doing. I love shooting commercials. it's fun and easy.

I can not imagine to live in Berlin ever again. It seems so long ago. I am completely disconnected and yeah still have deep connections there and a long list of fabulous encounters which are all in my book. most of my deepest connections are already dead. Like Birol. it would have been his birthday 2 days ago. scream scream scream my name one more time. roar like a lion Babe.

I love my Baby. wild wild cat. rrrrrrrr

2012 at Volksbuehne Berlin at the cantine.

Yeah I am feeling a bit nostalgic tonight. That's alright. here is another throwback

from 2015 shortly before leaving for good. I was hosting the Tuesday dinner show

at Jazz Radio Berlin.

Yeah 10 years sober, that's insane. omg. I mean I am used to it honestly and when I look around you know you can do all sorts of things to some point and age. then you pay the price man you pay the price. I would have never thought the way my life turned out, that I would create a clothesline and shoes and bags and write, I mean I was always writing. ~ or having a shop of my own. I never imagined it as such. I felt so stuck in Berlin. Yeah that's a pattern of mine. the feeling of being stuck. I am working on it.