the emptiness isn't real. it's just full moon

I am freezing my hands feel ice cold. I am sitting here listening with partly of deep regret and sorrow

hang on do I want to indulge myself into that pain? it's simply a feeling.

feelings can change immediately

it changed my perception of sorrow and grief.

I mean it is important for my understanding to not denial grief and pain.

I'd rather embrace it, acknowledge it, send love into it and radical accept it to be able to let it go with the flow.

(12) Agnes Obel - Chord Left (Official Audio) - YouTube

Dreams fulfilling all your wishes:

question/ what would you do? let's go and dream and see what happens. perhaps we fly high and land on the moon or further out. I'm sitting in a yellow Renault 4

I sit in the drivers seat

oh oh oh ......

I drive and thrive. I leave the crap behind me. I am gentle and I have changed for sure

nevertheless I find abuse of power utterly disgraceful

I tell you one thing:

never underestimate anyone

mark my words

(12) agnes obel - familiar - YouTube

I stopped smoking and imaginarily I find myself in certain deep moments sitting there and feeling and seeing myself with a cigarette.

without smoking

yeah

I wouldn't go for vaping now. I know it is rather fancy and it doesn't leave a disturbed smell of cold smoke. I don't mind smokers as such at all.

(12) Youth - Daughter - YouTube

so I am sitting in the drivers seat of that gorgeous Renault 4 and drive along

along the clouds and coasts and land on a planet where they drink pink flower water, talk backwards and send you the right answers and messages telepathically. I am totally blown away.

it's so beautiful here. they listen to Hank Williams. (12) Hank Williams Sr... I Saw The Light - 1948 - YouTube

and when they express gratitude they make a handstand even on a single hand.

their skin is so soft and beautiful and shiny you need to wear sunglasses in the daylight to look at them properly. they are all very kind.

I am flying home.

I call England my home. no matter the challenges, covered racism especially towards women and others. daily, hidden in plain sight. painful. racism is everywhere it's not only about color or religion. In Germany for example back in the 90ties there was this massive racism between east and west. I was exposed to racism from a very young age unknowingly and innocent.

Families...........

(12) Ave Maria - Claire de Lune - YouTube

England, dear good old England. You have to stick with me darling.